Monday, March 9, 2015

the mission I am serving.

Life is never what we expect it to be.

So, it has been years since I posted on here. I honestly thought I would be gone, even almost back from an LDS mission. Ideally in a foreign country, teaching the gospel in a foreign tongue.

But I didn't.

These past couple years I have watched all 5 of my freshman roommates go off on missions; Houston TX, Riverside CA, Guatemala, Atlanta GA, and Vancouver WA. They are all doing very well and loving serving the Lord. Most of them have actually returned from their missions at this point. They were the ones I knew before my time in Europe and they all left. Mind you, I made other friends and such so it's fine, but I thought I would be right along with them. Not here. Not in Utah.

When I came back to Provo, to BYU, I had already started my papers. I knew I was supposed to go on a mission... right? I had to. That was my plan all along. I would hit 21 (well, the age change caused a bit of a change in those plans), have my papers done, and I would be gone for 18 months with a name tag on. Well, that was my plan as of December 2012. It is now March 2015.

So, "what happened?" you ask (maybe you didn't ask but I'm going to tell you anyway).

Turns out, the Lord has a better plan for me than I do.

I only had my doctor appointments left and final interviews before my papers would actually be finished. One day, I felt prompted to pray about serving a mission. I thought it was kind of weird, but hey, never postpone a righteous prompting. So, I prayed about serving a mission and the overwhelming of peace came over me along with an answer.


No, you will not be serving a mission.

No, you will not be following through with the plans you have had since you were 12 years old.


I cried. A lot. I was so confused. I prayed for a couple more weeks, just regarding whether or not to serve a mission. I didn't keep praying because I wasn't sure--oh, I knew for sure that I was no longer going. I just didn't like that answer. I wanted to go anyway.

But I didn't. I stayed in Provo. I met a wonderful guy and we dated for a year and a half before parting ways, realizing that we weren't supposed to continue together. I added an Anthropology minor to my English major. I've worked as a teaching assistant for the Anthropology department for over a year now. I became reunited with my motorcycle and brought down a car from Seattle last summer. I traveled to Texas for the first time ever and loved it. I watched three very dear and amazing women in my life get married to very worthy and wonderful men. I realized I want to continue my education and end up working in the field of social work. I've found things out about myself I didn't know and would not have known had I gone on a mission.

I have been where I was supposed to be. I have done the things I was meant to do. And most importantly, I have met the people I was meant to meet.

Which brings me to the main point of this post: this past August, I met Lane.

Ugh, he's adorable and I am so in love with him. But that was definitely not how he and I started out (insert light chuckling). We met at a game night the first Sunday he moved to Utah. See, his sister Kristin is really good friends with one of my best friends Lindsey, the hostess of these game nights. Lindsey invited Kristin and since Lane just got into Provo, knowing no one else but his sister and brother-in-law who he was living with, she invited Lane as well. So, there we were, that August 23rd, that Sunday night, with my friends and this attractive new kid with tattoos and not much of a verbal filter.

Now, he'll tell you I hated him and didn't like him at all. Which is completely untrue. A few weeks after meeting, he would text me or call me throughout the week to see if I wanted to hang out, to get dinner, to do whatever. I honestly was just really busy and he wasn't a priority in my life. He wasn't even a thought in my mind. I didn't know him nearly at all and at the time, he was not active in the LDS church and I was not about to get close to a cute boy who couldn't take me to the temple.

Eventually, I found more time to spend with Lane. He was dang persistent, I tell you. At one point we had a conversation where he admitted he had feelings for me, strong enough to pursue a relationship. I said, straight up, I am not going to date anyone who cannot take me to the temple (implying that I won't date anyone who I couldn't see marrying in an LDS temple). I think he took that as a bit of a challenge, because he started coming to church with me. His interest to come back to church existed before my saying that, but my encouragement was the tipping point, I suppose.

He has since been coming to church regularly. His church records were transferred into my ward and started talking with the bishop. He now holds a calling, is a worthy priesthood holder, and attends the temple regularly. He is an avid student of the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon. He is a dedicated home teacher, a regular attendee to FHE, and says some of the sweetest, most beautiful, sincere prayers I have ever heard.

He persisted in becoming my close friend, and when that was not enough, he continued to push to be my boyfriend, and now he has become my fiancé, having asked me to be my husband and eternal companion. From that, I am sure you gathered that I said yes.

Lane and I are planning to be sealed as husband and wife for all time and eternity on April 25th, 2015 in the Seattle temple. I could not be happier or more excited.

In retrospect, everything I did up until this moment has prepared me for this wonderful man and the future we are going to have together. The mission I am serving is the life I am leading, the steps I take every day, the people I interact with, the intentions of my heart in every moment.

And this next step in my mission... is becoming a Queen.

There ya go.